What were you thinking?

Dear M:

I don't know you very well. You seem like a nice person. You recently went on a missions trip to Africa. Before you went, I overheard a conversation you had with someone. You said you were not going to get the vaccination for malaria. I did not hear the reason why. You said that the naturopath remedy you were taking was more than enough to protect you.

And what happened? You got malaria. Surprise! Well I suppose it's your life and you get to make those sorts of choices. And I suppose now that you are recovered you will go and say that God healed you. I don't know what to say. I guess when you say this I will just have to grit my teeth like when the "F" family praised God because their house sold during the height of the housing boom.

All I can say is that you got lucky. Since you like to go to Africa and do missions, if I were one of your close friends like C. or J. I would tell you: Take the vaccine next time. Do not play Russian Roulette with your life by taking some phoney crap that has no chance of protecting you. Give God a break. Let Him save people who are in more dire straits than you are.

Regards,
K.M.

In the falling dew

In the falling dew

I am 

        free

From the prison that I am in and these walls and bars do not touch me.

I run with an amazing speed of bursting energy.

Suns and its rays do not touch me

My memories of all the bad times are erased.

And I am falling 

                            Free

With no more pain and sadness blocking and blighting my mind.

The past no longer shadows me:

They that see me 

Are there all around 

They that do not see me

I do not realize 

They even exist. 

They do not even get 

my attention. 

Running Away

I am doing it again this year

because that is all I know how to do, 

in the face of negativity

Running 

              Away

Like to be the type of person to stay

and fight.

But that is not me.

Wish I was the type of person to say

You don't have the right to talk to me like that.

But that is not me.

So I flee.

I go.

connexion

I want to get out and connect with ppl more. This one person moved in our church and WOW was totally bff with people in like 5 mins after coming and I SEE all sorts of photos of her and her new bffs on f.b and it makes me sad...how come I can't be bff with people 36 milleseconds after meeting them. Why do I alwys hole m.self in my room with the interwebs and say No peeps but no that is not good. So soon as I am done with uni I will try to call ppl more and try to find a bff.

I haven't had a bff in years or anything. Want one. Like gonna haves to clone meself to get one. Something like that.

Peace out.

Searching for God knows what?

I crave security. I crave knowing I have a home and a place to go to. I was reluctant to give that up even when I was a kid, 19 or 20. Security is what I want.

For most of my adult life I have depended on organisations for human contact. Not phoning up people to see if they want to go out for coffee. I was terrified to phone people. I would see them at the organisation and that would be it. Now I want to cast aside the organisation and build relationships. The organisation provides security and like I said, I love security. But I want to build relationships.

random thoughts

Should I stay or should I go? That is the question. If I go, where do I go to? That is another question. These are things that I am thinking pondering mulling in my brain.

I was really sad last night. Something came up that reminded me how difficult it is for me to establish connection, to find someone you click with and you let them slip away. It made me sad. Then my roommate had a friend over and I watched House, 24 and Heroes with them and felt better.

Someone has a car. They prayed to Jesus for a car. I never thought about praying for a car. I felt that praying for more material things was sort of a waste of time. If you're hungry pray for food. But if you are just taking a bus...why pray for a car? Your legs aren't broken. You still have mobility. I don't know about this praying for a car thing though. I would find it hard to pray for a car and not feel greedy.

Studying is hard. It is hard to sit down and study. I did 30 minutes. I think I am not too sure. I was going to do hours and hours. But it did not happen.